A Joke (But if it comes to this it’s not funny)

September 24, 2012

Embracing Life

This came my way from our pastor’s file. Someone handed it to him…

Licensed under Creative Commons (Vectorportal)

A scene in City Hall in San Francisco:

Judge: “Next!”

“Good morning, we want to apply for a marriage license.”

Judge: “Tim and Jim Jones?”

“Yes. We are brothers.”

Judge: “Brothers? You can’t get married.”

“Why not? Aren’t you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?”

Judge: “Yes, thousands. but we haven’t had any siblings. That’s incest!”

“Incest? No, we are not gay.”

Judge: “Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?”

“For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don’t have any other prospects.”

Judge: “But we’re issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who’ve been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman.”

“Wait just a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim.”

“And I want to marry Tim. Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?”

Judge: “All right. All right. I’ll give you your license. Next.”

“Hi. We are here to get married.”

Judge: “Names?”

“John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green and June Johnson.”

Judge: “Who wants to marry whom?”

“We all want to marry each other.”

Judge: “But there are four of you?”

“That’s right. You see, we’re all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship.”

Judge: “But we’ve only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples.”

“So you’re discriminating against bisexuals!”

Judge: “No, it’s just that, well…the traditional idea of marriage is that it’ s just for couples.”

“Since when are you standing on tradition?”

Judge: “Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere.”

“Who says? There’s no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!”

Judge: “All right. All right. Next.”

“Hello. I’d like a marriage license.”

Judge: “In what name?”

“David Deets.”

Judge: “And the other man?”

“That’s all. I want to marry myself.”

Judge: “Marry yourself? What do you mean?”

“Well, my psychiatrist says I have dual personalities, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return.”

Judge: “That does it! I quit! You people are making a mockery of marriage!”

 

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About Kathy Schneeman

After graduating from The College of St. Thomas, I taught at Nativity in St. Paul until our oldest was just about born in the classroom (What a great lesson on life that would have been for my students!) I then became a stay-at-home-mom while teaching religious education classes and working very part time at UST. Recently, I served as the Archdiocese's Life Coordinator in the Office for Marriage, Family and Life until twins arrived (I was almost 43!) When I have a few minutes of quiet time, I like to run, eat chocolates, scones and Mexican food (that's why I run), read, and have a beverage with my husband at night. We have a whopping nine kids (yes...same husband and same wife; we get that question a lot!) and we attend St. Joseph's in West St. Paul--where we first met when we were in grade school.

View all posts by Kathy Schneeman
  • Becky

    I won’t even bother with disassembling your argument built on false premises and straw men. But I do have a very urgent question:

    I can’t help but notice that many–if not most–of the good, faithful Catholics supporting the marriage amendment have two, maybe three children tops. It seems like an unusually high amount of infertility setting in after the second or third child. It could be what I think is referred to as a cluster. Perhaps we should call the EPA or dept of health because surely these upright Catholics wouldn’t disobey the church and do something as wrong as use artificial birth control. After all–as they have pointed out many times–the point of marriage is procreation.

    • Me

      Didn’t you know that the Catholic church is full of sinners? Just because they may sin, doesn’t mean that catholic church teaching is wrong. Besides, you don’t really know if they are artificially contracepting, perhaps they are using natural family planning – it does work, you know.