I went over to Battle Creek Regional Park in St. Paul yesterday to see my son, Joe, compete in the last cross country race of his high school career. He is a senior at Trinity School at River Ridge in Eagan. It was the section meet and he was shooting for his best time of the year.
Archive | October, 2009
Running in the rain
Advocate for the abused shares a great message in a very few words
October 30, 2009
“Beyond the Mirror,”
by Marlene Jezierski
“You can’t do anything right.”
That’s a typical verbal abuse.
Marlene Jezierski has heard that and much more from women and men and children who are victims of domestic violence. Not all the bruises of domestic abuse show on the outside of the body.
As she put it, “I wrote the book because I saw a knowledge gap in the area of violence in the home. While beatings and sexual assaults are understood and recognized, the subtleties of psychological abuse are not.”
Her little book is just 36 pages, but it’s plenty to touch your heart.
Life as a prisoner
Open “Beyond the Mirror” to any page as I did when this little tome arrived and you’ll know the hurt, the diminution of spirit, the sadness and the fear of those who don’t see any way out of a life that has become a prison.
One page had me.
Jezierski has turned what could be prose stories of victims of physical and emotional abuse into mostly brief, one-page poems that tug at your heart. It’s beautiful poetry about a dreadful reality.
What she enlightens readers about is psychological torture:
Degrading statements.
Accusations.
Looks that kill the spirit.
Checking of the car odometer when the spouse leaves on an errand and returns home.
Isolation from friends, often from the rest of the world.
Tentacles reach out
A wake-up call may be in how the meanness and belittling is passed on to the children and to the extended families as well. Another may be the revelation that abusers perpetrate acts of cruelty and violence on family pets to instill fear in the people they live with. One poem quotes the spouse who killed and mutilated the family dog: “If you ever leave, that is what will happen to you, and they will never find the pieces.”
And there’s a great piece titled “Why on Earth Does She Stay?”
It’s a collage of all the bad advice offered from family, clergy and co-workers, all the threats from the abusers, all the fears of the victims.
Yet sprinkled here and there throughout are glimmers of hope:
- The 6th grade boy who doesn’t like himself when he realizes he’s imitating the abusive father he’s coming to hate.
- The peace for mother and child when a friend is able to secret them away to a shelter for victims of domestic abuse.
- The school counselor who is helping the love-misled teen to understand balance in relationships, healthy love, boundaries and obsessive control.
Being part of the solution
A final ray of hope shines in examples Jezierski gives of the support and good advice that comes from true friends, caring health care professionals, enlightened policies at medical facilities, even strangers who witness or overhear abuse and have the courage to speak up and intervene.
Not to be forgotten are clergy who do real pastoring by letting victims know, “Your husband broke the marriage covenant the first time he abused you. God doesn’t want anyone to be abused.” — bz
N.B. — Marlene Jezierski, a retired emergency nurse who lives in Blaine, MN, is an educator and consultant on family violence prevention. As an advocate for victims she has testified before Congress on the impact of violence on women’s health. She conducts seminars on physical and emotional domestic abuse, speaks to church groups and teaches classes to interested groups. She expressed the hope that readers of “Beyond the Mirror” will be energized to volunteer or somehow be involved in the cause about which she is so passionate. “My mission,” she noted, “is to help raise awareness and engage the community to become part of the solution.” Although donations are accepted, copies of “Beyond the Mirror” are available at no cost through the author at beyondTmirror@aol.com.
Conquering Davern Hill
October 26, 2009
I have been thinking about it for weeks. There is a steep hill on Davern Street about 2 miles from my house and I made it my goal to jog all the way to the hill and down it, then jog back up and all the way home.
Nothing border-line about history behind border lines of U.S. states
October 23, 2009
If you rue the abuse and misuse of the English language, you have a friend and an advocate for making a difference
October 20, 2009
by Marilyn Chandler McEntyre
Humankind’s ability to use words to express, describe and explain is a gift from God, ergo humans should practice stewardship with language in much the same way we are challenged to care for the Creator’s gifts of water, earth and other resources.
And many more. Better solutions than “whatever” For some years “Valley girls” were mocked for initiating sentences with the word “like,” yet the angst that “like” creates for stewards of language may be small beer compared with the aggravation that follows the current non-response that supposedly answers all difficulties: “Whatever.” McEntyre offers three prescriptions against the disease that afflicts the English language: 1) Deepen and sharpen our reading skills; 2)Cultivate habits of speaking and listening that foster precision and clarity; and 3), Be makers and doers of the word, which she describes as “to indulge in word play, to delight in metaphor, to practice specificity and accuracy, to listen critically and refuse cliches and sound bites that substitute for authentic analysis.” She blames text messaging for rapidly eroding spelling and punctuation skills while training users to trade precision for speed. In much the same way the earth’s resources are being depleted, so too she charges “the rich soil of lively discourse is being depleted.” You only need to have what you thought was a relevant discussion be concluded by a “whatever” to find you agree. Love words, challenge lies To counter the erosion, if not the near criminal loss of vocabulary, McEntyre presents a dozen strategies for those who would be stewards of words. “Love words” is the first. Her text itself makes that easy to do and inspires one to follow her suggestion to look at words — not through them — and to search for ones that are “intriguing, complex, haunting, curious, interestingly ambiguous, troubling or delightful.” “Tell the truth” is another strategy, and anyone who ever heard the deaths of innocent civilians described as “collateral damage” understands the moral implication behind that misuse of words. As McEntyre puts it, stewards of words need to be inquisitive about what they read or hear: “The process by which things come to us are often deliberately hidden or left unmentioned so as not to draw attention to the less savory aspects of process like pollution, abusive labor practices, fuel consumption, dangerous pesticides, unfair treatment of animals, insider trading.” Her solution? “Humbly inquiring what the user means, and then listening,” then calling liars into account — especially when their lies threaten the welfare of the community.” There is so much more in the 234-page Eerdmans paperback. Take Professor McEntyre’s advice. Read paragraphs and re-read them. “Taste” words. Chew on them. You’ll find you are satisfying a hunger you may not have known you had. – bz
Where are the birds?
October 19, 2009
I had a fall wild turkey hunt last week down in Goodhue County. I hunted properties near Cannon Falls and Red Wing. I had three pieces of land in all and I hunted all three on Wednesday and Thursday.
Fall flakes
October 12, 2009

It was a strange sight outside today — accumulating snow on the ground and clinging to leaves on the trees. Who could have imagined such a sight on Oct. 12?
An unexpected farewell
October 9, 2009
I got a phone call recently from Jack Kolars, the director of advancement at Bethlehem Academy in Faribault. He asked about photos I took of the new Divine Mercy church building in July.
Turning attention to whitetails
October 5, 2009
Yesterday was an ambitious day for me in the woods of Goodhue County. It was time to do some scouting and stand preparation for our deer hunt Nov. 7. I went down to our deer-hunting properties with my son, Joe, my friend, Bernie Schwab, and his son, Chris, who is not old enough to hunt, but definitely old enough to be interested in the rituals of the hunt.






















October 30, 2009
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